


Black ink

by Bowie



Series: We'll find each other [1]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M, implied Marco Reus/Mario Götze - Freeform, kind of cannon universe but with soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 10:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2543495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bowie/pseuds/Bowie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you're 18, you get a name on your left wrist, the name of your soulmate, but the thing is, you're not always meant to be with your soulmate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black ink

**Author's Note:**

> The world needs more Durmeus (i already read all the durmeus fics out there) so i figured i may give it a try, this is like my third attempt to write durmeus, and it probably sucks, sorry.
> 
> Also, I'm so sorry about this fic.

Erik never thought twice about the name of his wrist, it was something he felt ashamed of. He used long sleeved shirts, or a hoodie, or anything that covered his left wrist. His mother always asked him if he had found his soulmate and Erik had to lie to her, he didn't want her to be worried about him, and he was fine without his soulmate by his side, really.

His friend, Mats tried to read his name a lot of time, wanting to find him so Erik could be happy, but Erik would take his wrist to his chest and hide it until Mats would give up and just sigh, saying he would have to let him see it eventually. Erik wouldn't say anything, that way Mats would drop it and talk about something else, or just go to eat cereal or something, Erik didn't care as long as his wrist was safe from intrusive eyes.

It wasn't like he had a grey name, but he learned that if he told people his soulmate was dead they wouldn't ask again, nobody wanted to see the grey ink of a dead soulmate's name, Erik learned, it was just depressive. Mats never tried to see his wrist again, and his mom stoped asking if he had found them. His teammates would look at him with pity first but Erik preferred that to be asked about it again, the whole thing was enough to make Erik want to curl in his bed and cry forever. The problem with this plan was that Marco started to notice. and eventually, Marco knew.

"Your soulmate is not dead" Marco said once and Erik tried to say something but Marco cut him off "Nah, I get it, you don't want peope to ask you, but you need to learn to lie better, also, I can see part of a _black_ letter showing"

They never talked about it, and Erik became a better liar, wich was usefull for a lot of things, like breaking rules and getting away with it, not that he was a teenager with lot of ridiculous rules, but he had to follow some dumb rules as a professional footballer. His life became significantly less soulmate-centred. He got a question about his soulmate in a interview once or twice, because people noticied how he would cover his wrist every game. Some people thought he didn't want the media to find out who his soulmate was, but then Erik would say his soulmates is dead, and end of the problem.

With the soulmate thing sorted out he could focus on being a better footballer. And he was fine, being single was not the end of the world, and you don't need to fall in love to be really happy. His life was fine, he could just ignore the fact that his soulmate was happy with someone else, and the only moment he got angsty was when he found himself surrended by happy couples, he doesn't blame them though, most of the times it's Mats and Benni, and Erik really can't blame them, because it took them so long to admit they were each other soulmates and then it took them longer to finally be together, Erik can't hate them just because his soulmate is somewhere kissing someone else, hugging someone else, falling asleep next to someone else.

Marco still knew about his soulmate problem though.

"Why don't you talk about it?" Marco asks once, they are both drunk, they won something, Erik can't remember what, and they're celebrating "Your soulmate is not dead, why don't you just go get them?"Marco smiles, he's totally drunk.

"I'm not his soulmate" Erik says, and try not to put too much emotion in it, if he fails, Marco doesn't say anything.

"Oh, How do you know?" 

"I've seen his name, and I've seen him with his soulmate, being all happy and kissing" Erik feels like he could cry, and Marco hugs him.

"Does he know?" Marco asks and Erik shakes his head, closing his eyes.

"I don't want him to feel guilty, it's not his fault"

Erik finds himself crying alone in his bed, the black ink in his wrist uncovered, he cries holding his wrist until he falls asleep. That's how Mats finds him the next day. He doesn't say anything about his soulmate, he just hug him and hold him while Erik cries again.

 

"You should tell him" Mats says a couple of days later 

"What for" Eriks mutters angry "He's happy, he doesn't need to worry about me, I'm fine" 

Mats doesn't say anything but Erik sees how he looks at him, he doen't agree with his decision, but he knows he can't make him change it.

 

"Your soulmate is stupid" Marco says when they're training, and Erik wants to laugh "I'd kick his ass for not loving you"

"You can't make people change the name in their wrist" He knows better than anyone. "Plus, he went through so much to be with his soulmate, I can't be the one to break that"

 

Erik meets a girl, her name is Rachel, she's a readhead and her soulmate is dead. They become friend quickly, she know his soulmate is not dead, she finds out herself, turns out you actually feel physical pain when your soulmate dies, and Erik didn't knew so Rachel figures out he's lying, she doesn't asks, and Erik is thankful. Rachel turns out to be a really good friend. Erik wish he could love her, everything would be easier if he loved her, but he doesn't.

 

"It's Mats" Marco says one day

"What" Erik is confused, Mats is what?

"Your soulmate" Marco explain "When your name was showing I noticied it stars with M, and he went through so much to be with Benni, it has to be him"

Erik doesn't know why, but he ends up showing him his wrist. Marco opens his eyes, and looks at him, trying to say something but he can't listen to him, he runs away.

 

Erik avoids Marco after that, when they are training it's difficult, but Mats helps him, Erik went crying to him after he told Marco, and Mats understand why he's avoiding Marco, and it's willing to help him. But Erik knew he'd have to talk to him eventually. After a training Marco corners him and Erik wants to die there, because he's not ready to talk, not yet. He tries to scape, but he ends up screaming to Marco, and Marco screaming back, and their teammates watching them, curious.

"Why can't you just let it go" Erik screams, he just want it to stop.

"Because I'm your fucking soulmate" Marco screams and regret it inmediatly, their teammates are whispering, and Erik eyes are full of tears, he's going to start crying anytime  now. "Erik, I-"

That was the last time Erik heard Marco's voice. Erik run away that day, Marco had tried to follow him, but Mats told him to let him go, Erik needed to be alone.

Erik was in his house when he felt it, the pain, it was unbearable, he couldn't breath, it was suffocating, like he was beind teared appart. Like he was dying but worst, because it wasn't him, it was Marco. He saw the way black ink became grey, and his chest hurt, it couldn't end up like that, he couldn't lose Marco like that. He didn't, because you can't lose what never was yours.

Rachel went to his house as soon as she heard. But there wasn't much she could do, still it was better than anyone else could offer, she undertood, she had gone through the same, but it didn't make him feel any better. 

Mario called him, asked if he could go. Mario didn't knew anyone like Rachel, so Erik was the closest thing he had to someone who could understand, Marco probably had told him Erik had his name. They hugged and Mario cried all night. Erik was never Mario's friend, and that didn't change, they were just two people, who knew each other and had a loss in common. 

Erik wanted to drink until he couldn't remember his own name, but he couldn't, it was someone who drank too much who killed Marco, and he would hate himself if he drank. Mario on the other hand drank until he passed out, Mats told him, and he was sad for him, he knew Marco wouldn't want Mario to be like that, but there wasn't much he could do, loosing your soulmate was hard, Eriik knew it was harder for Mario, it took them so much to be together, and when he finally was happy, he lost Marco, Erik on the other hand, didn't lost as much as Mario, because he was never with Marco. 

Erik didn't cry in a month, he knew if he started to cry he wouldn't be able to stop, but it was after a game it hit him, he would never play with Marco again, he would never go out to celebrate with him, he would never hear his voice again, and he was angry, he went to his house without celebrating with his teammates, and he turned on his tv, trying to think about something else, but the world hated him, they were talking about Marco, he heard a familiar voice, Marco's he realized, they were showing part of an old interview. And he cried, because he missed Marco, not his soulmate, Marco his friend, he cried not caring anymore.


End file.
